Whose fault is it anyway?

"It's her fault we couldn't get on the computers."

"Why is it her fault?"

"We didn't have our cards, and she wouldn't let us log on."

"YOU didn't have your cards, so it's her fault?"

"We always got on before without our cards!"

Ok, let me get this straight....You somehow were able to get around the rules for a while, and then had to follow the rules, and now it's someone else's fault you didn't get what you wanted??

This seems to be a recurring theme around our home lately. I didn’t get my reading done because Dad said I had to rake leaves ...it’s his fault. I don’t have any socks because Mom didn’t do laundry...it’s her fault. I lost my temper because my brother wouldn’t give me the remote ...it’s his fault.

So, whose fault is it when things don’t go our way? Parents? Siblings? Spouse? God’s?? Things didn’t go my way and YOU’RE the reason! Hmmmph!

Well, let’s break this down and see if we can come up with a solution.

What is it you want? Is it reasonable? Is it possible? Is it right? You have to be specific with your desire. What is the end result you‘re looking for? If you want to get on the computers at the library, that’s perfectly acceptable. If you want to get on them without your card, that won’t do. The rule says you must have your card...not just know your number. So, you can have what you want, you just have to go about it the right way. No blame, no excuses, everyone’s happy.

What if what you want is up to someone else? I want the remote, but he has it. I want to play instead of read, but mom won’t let me. I need a job, but they won’t hire me.

Again, what is it that you want? Is it reasonable? Is it possible? Is it right? Do you want the remote or do you want to watch the show you’ve been waiting for? Is it reasonable to want that? Is his show over? Is there another way - possible compromise? How about the reading deal? Why not read first and then play. Everybody’s happy! And, as far as the job, if they won’t hire you - why not? Do you need more education? More experience? Do you need to start farther down the ladder? Don’t give up on what you want, just find a way to make it happen without blaming the world for not getting it!

These boys are quickly becoming young men. We don’t want them to bust into the world thinking it owes them a living! It’s easy to blame others for our shortcomings. It’s much harder to have patience, skill and reasoning ability. The result, however, is oh so worth it!