What Was I Thinking??

Perusing my blog this morning, I was looking through the "Edit Posts" list and found a draft.

 

The dangers of "ISM" I evidently intended to write a post on the subject. The problem is, I didn't leave myself a clue as to the subject matter! I have no idea what "ISM" is or why it's dangerous!

 

My first response in a situation like this (or most any situation, really) is "Google it"! The top three results are....

• Institute for Supply Management (Doesn't sound dangerous or interesting)
• Independent School Management (Upon closer inspection, I'm pretty sure it's SPAM!)
• International Solidarity Movement (Although certainly dangerous and probably interesting, doesn't look like something I would write about)

So, what was I thinking?? Was it Ferris Bueller's speech in the shower about isms?

"Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus, but I'd still have to bum rides off of people."

Awesome movie & brilliant line, but I don't see how I can expound on it. goo goo g'joob

I guess we'll just chalk it up to Instantly Supressed Memory and move along....

I'm listening, Lord

We are preparing for our trip to TN.  My son-in-law is getting ready to go to Iraq, my newest granddaughter is 3 months old, my youngest grandson is starting kindergarten, my other son-in-law has his orders for his next station, and we are ready to be there!

We have three vehicles..a Ford Pick-up, a Mercury Marquis and a Ford Van. We also have two teenage boys that will not fit in the back seat of the truck or the Marquis. The Truck needs new tires before a road-trip and the car's air conditioning went out (not to mention some electrical issues that have popped up). So, the van it is!

We put four new tires on the van, cleaned it out & gassed it up. I bought snacks and drinks for the trip and the boys have their dvd's and video games all ready.

Carpenter came to get the van to fix a little something (not sure what it was) while I was at work. He came in as I was getting off and said it broke down. What?? There was nothing wrong with it a lunch! An hour and a half later, it's apparently the fuel pump. The garage (fantastic people who I REALLY appreciate!) will get on it first thing in the morning - should be done by noon, they say.

Well, here's the thing. Carpenter & I took the rest of the week off for this trip. We were planning to leave very early tomorrow (2am-ish) and wanted to be back Saturday evening. It's an eight hour trip so instead of getting there at 10 in the morning it will be 8 at night. But that's if we get to leave at noon. If they can fix the van. And if there is nothing else wrong with it.

Why am I typing all of this? Because I am realizing that my God loves me and is looking out for my best interest. He knows how much I want to see my daughters and grandchildren. He knows how much they want to see us. But He also knows what the future holds. He knows whether or not the Sow and her brand-new litter will need us here. He knows whether or not my mother-in-law (a dear 84 yr old lady that lives on our property) will need us here. He knows if the van will make the 1100 mile round trip. He knows.

"But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil."
                                                                  Proverbs 1:33

I'm listening, Lord

The Biggest Loser

I was watching The Biggest Loser last night (don't judge me!) and one of the "final four" said, "If I can do it, anyone can do it!"

Well, yeah - anyone who gets to spend 6 months secluded on a ranch with a personal trainer, 24 hr gym, stocked kitchen, and a million dollars to shoot for!!

What about the rest of us?

Now, I don't begrudge these people their time there, the resources they have on hand or the prize money...they earn it! One man started at over 500 pounds! I say if you have the opportunity, go for it!

Here's the deal... I am 45 years old, 5'3", and 150 pounds. I smoke, drink too much Dr Pepper and spend waaaayyyy too much time on the computer! I'm unhealthy. I live on a small farm on 13 or so acres, own a treadmill/clothes rack, make a moderate income and have a loving supportive family. What's up??? Why is it so hard to make healthy choices??

I need to lose 25 pounds. It's easier to take a "vitamin" for appetite suppressant than be disciplined. It's easier (not to mention cheaper!!) to make the same old "comfort food" than plan and prepare healthy alternatives. It's much easier to lay down and watch tv or get on the computer than to go for a walk or use the treadmill.

I need to quit smoking. I have a drawer full of Nicorette and an electronic cigarette on my desk. It's still easier to sit on the deck and smoke. It's easier to give in to the craving than tough it out.

I guess the question is how bad do I want it? There are things that I don't give in to. It's easier to stay home than go to work, but I love my job and need the money, so I go. It's easier to let my kids have their way than to argue with them, but I love my kids and want them to be disciplined, well-rounded, productive members of society, so I don't give in. It's easier to be lazy than to cook and clean, but I love my family and want them to live in a healthy, comfortable environment, so I push forward.

Wow. I love my family, my kids, my job so I do what's necessary - not easy. Do I love myself? Do I love me enough to tough out a nicotine craving to save my life? Do I love me enough to choose the treadmill and a salad instead of tv and a bowl of cereal? Do I love my family enough to love ME?? The Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. I guess if I don't love myself, my neighbor is in trouble!!

I'm not saying I'm ready to quit smoking, start exercising, change our eating habits and schedule a spa day (well, maybe the spa day wouldn't be so hard!) but I am learning that in order to be the best wife & mother I can be - I have to be the best ME I can be! My family is worth it and so am I!

Maybe I need Jillian here to scream at me to keep going!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATE: 9/11/2010 I quit smoking! One down....

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

I want to pray that he gets hit by a bus, does that count??

He is just a kid. At 20, the world says he's an adult, but he's just a kid. He wasn't raised well. He calls himself Wiccan. I could probably feel sorry for him, pray for him, even - gulp - love him if my daughter hadn't chose this one to run off with.

Ephesians 6:12 says "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." If you are mad at a person, you are fighting the wrong enemy! DRAT!!


The Word is full of Scripture that tells me that God will handle my enemies and my job is to love. {sigh} For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." Hebrews 10:30





"In you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
Psalm 25:2"

So - Here's the outline:

1) There is someone in my world that is causing me grief. He is the cause of pain and I want him gone.

2) This person is not the source of my pain, he is the vessel. The source is the Enemy.

3) God is my protector and my avenger. He will smite the source..I will pray for the vessel.

4) I will trust in my Lord to heal the pain, stop the source and put me on higher ground.

Back to Matthew 5:44. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who insult you and persecute you.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

A Mother's Prayer

I pray for my children daily. I pray for them specifically and emphatically.

There is a conversation in the movie Evan Almighty where "God" is talking to the mom about answered prayer.

"Do you think that when you pray for patience, God zaps you with patience or does He provide opportunities for you to learn to be patient?" "When you pray for your family to be closer together, does He zap you with warm fuzzies, or does He provide opportunities for you to grow as a family?"



For many years now, I have been praying that God would bring my children, their spouses, and my grandkids closer to each other and closer to Him.

Not long after I began praying this way, my middle daughter and her husband went through a very trying time. A lot of pain, a lot of anger and a lot of doubt that their marriage would survive. They have not only survived, but are closer to each other - and God - than ever before! They're now expecting their 3rd child. I'm a happy Nana!

About 2 years ago, my oldest daughter and her husband lost their jobs. Thankfully, they had a good savings built up that helped them through for a while. Then things got tough. They have had no choice but to rely fully on God. Son-in-law is now back in school with a great job lined up. They have come through a very difficult time, humbled and closer than ever, knowing that their God is in control and loves them!

Last May, my youngest daughter left home under very harsh circumstances. Stood flat footed in the middle of the living room, told her dad, brothers & I that she didn't want to follow the rules any longer and was leaving. She took her backpack and headed down the road. Rocked my world! It has been an extremely strained 9 months. She called her dad this week. First time since she left. She didn't actually repent (which requires change) but she did say she hadn't been living right and she realizes she hurt a lot of people. The door has been opened!

As much as I love as my children, it's amazing to realize that my God loves them more! His gifts are lasting and permanent. As hard as it's been to watch my girls go through tough times, it's comforting to know that His plan is not to harm but to prosper..to give them a hope and a future!

God answers prayer!!

Now - I've been praying for quite a while that the boys would "grow in wisdom and in stature and find favor with God and man....

HOLD ON!!!!

Let Him drive

I once heard a preacher say, "It's not so much that Peter believed in Christ, but that Jesus believed in Peter."

That spoke to my heart. Peter was a rash, impulsive, stubborn, prideful man that had the best of intentions, but not always the best actions or attitude. I could be named Peter.

Jesus had to rebuke and admonish Peter on more than one occasion. He had to remind this zealous Apostle that there was a Grand Plan and, although Peter was a part of it, he wasn't in charge of it! The Lord often reminds me of the same fact!

I know God has a plan for my life - and the lives of my children. I know it’s a good plan, not to harm but to prosper. I know only He can fully carry out the details in a perfect way. Why then, do I feel the need to be in control? Why do I worry & fret and try to make things go my way?

Right after Jesus told Peter that he was hindering the Will of God (Matthew 16:23), Jesus went on to say this:

“Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat, I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” (The Message)

Man, I want to embrace that truth! To totally let Him lead. To completely surrender my will for His. To emphatically know that His will is best even if things don’t feel great at the time. Lord, may Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Fully, completely and immediately.

The same Peter that said, “Impossible, Master! That can never be!”, also said, “Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like Him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.” (1Peter ch 4)

There was a lot of growth in Peter between the Gospels and Peter’s letters. Jesus knew Peter had it in him. Built His Church on that. Jesus believed in Peter!

“It’s not so much that Eyvonne believes in Christ, but that Jesus believes in Eyvonne!”

A day in the life....

When was the last time you walked down your hall and saw your son's bedroom door laying on the floor? Mine was 2 minutes ago!

I hear this pounding and thudding coming from the other end of the house. With two teen-age boys, I MUST investigate. There they are, hammers in hand, sprawled out on the floor with the door underneath them! "It came off the hinges, mom." Hmmm... wonder how that happened.

I'm thinking this can be a learning opportunity. Carpentry? Home repair? Team work? Industriousness? Nope. Patience! Not their learning opportunity, MINE!

They saw a challenge (door just came right off the hinges!), found a solution (hammers & nails) and set out to conquer. Isn't that what I want for my sons? To be able to see the challenges in this world and find a way to meet them? To work together in a time of crisis? To fix the flippen door when it "comes off the hinges"???

I now hear power tools....what can I learn from THAT????

Time left?

I just got an email that asks "What would you do if you only had 30 days to live?" Then suggests, "Why don't you live that way now?"

Well here's the deal. My confession really. If I only had 30 days to live I would start smoking again. Why not? I wouldn't worry about my health or these extra 30 pounds I'm carrying around. Why should I? I wouldn't care if my house was clean or if we did Math, I would spend each day with my kids and my husband and they would put things on hold to be with me.

I think a more profound question for me would be, "What if you had 30 years to live?" Do I want to spend those years on an oxygen tank? Do I want to spend them with heart disease? Bad knees and back?

In 30 years, the Good Lord willing, I will be 74 years old. That's not so old in today's world. I don't want to wake up at 73 1/2 and wonder what happened to my life. I want to be happy, healthy, productive and close to God with many, many years of good memories with my kids and grandkids.

In order to wake up on that wonderful day and say, "All is well." I need to start now. I have taken care of my family for 28 years now, but I haven't done a good job of taking care of me. It somehow felt selfish to take care of me. Well I now realize that if I don't take care of me, I won't be around to take care of them.

My 44th birthday was the 6th of this month. I woke up and said, "All is not well." On March 12th I quit smoking. Because I tend to gain weight when I quit smoking, I have been really changing my lifestyle. Walking, drinking water, watching what I eat. My goal is 15 pounds this year. (All right, it's 30 but I think 15 is more realistic!!)

I am spending more time with the Lord. More time-quality time-with my husband and kids. Cleaning and decluttering my home so it is clean, healthy & a good example, but not to the point of neurosis. Trying to remember that "school" takes place 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and rarely with textbooks.

Whether God gives me 30 days on this earth or 30 years, I've decided that I want to live it to the fullest. Starting with the next 30 minutes.

Calling In Sick

I have a cold. It started coming on right after Thanksgiving. My body is achy, my sinuses are stuffed and/or running, my mind is fuzzy and my throat is sore. I'm sick.

I have always joked that I don't have time to be sick, I'll have to reschedule. There always seems to be so much to do - especially this time of year. I really don't have time to lay around and whine.

We do not condone the commercialism of Christmas. We do not run from party to party or become overly involved with church or community programs. We do not buy people presents just for the sake of them having something to open Christmas morning. We do not go overboard on our decorations or meals. We do however, open our home to friends and family as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We want our home to be clean and comfortable and decorated with signs that show us that this day is different than, say, August 23rd. We desire to give our friends and family members gifts (store bought or home made) as we take part in remembering that all important Birth Day.

And so, there are rooms to clean and prepare for company; furniture to rearrange to make room for the decorations; meals to plan & prepare and make ahead where possible; cookies and baked goods to make & decorate with the kids; and gifts to buy and wrap. In the middle of all the seasonal joy, there is still laundry, dusting, vacuuming and every day cooking & cleaning.

Have you ever noticed that the size of your workload is directly proportionate with the size of your cold? Doctors are saying that they have found the hormone that stops your immune system from functioning properly. It is released into your system during times of stress. Well, aint that a kicker? No wonder the Lord God told us not to worry!

Well, having just read all of that, I decided to take a day off. We are all just chillin at my house today. Listening to Christmas Praise music, playing games, sitting outside in the cool but sunny yard. I even took a long bath! Right in the middle of the day! Supper tonight will be light and simple. We have no demands on our time this evening.

I'm hoping a day off will give my body a little boost in fighting off this nasty bug. I also hope that a day off will remind me that tomorrow - when activity is back in full swing - I can keep working without letting that little hormone take hold. I don't have to stress about these things, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do them joyfully, as unto the Lord.

I wonder if Mary had a cold on her way to Bethlehem??

Maid Service

As I plunked the clean clothes basket down in the hall between the boys' rooms, I hollered, "Maid Service!". Among the bleeps and buzzes of the playstation, a voice exclaims, "Cool!"

Cool? What about "Thanks Mom" or "I'll get it"?

Cool??

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might...Ecclesiastes 9:10a

Yes, that includes laundry. And dishes. And toilets. And vacuuming. Making my home clean and healthy - with all my might.

Equipped with the tools of my trade, I tackle the world I live in with a vengeance! Killing germs and fighting grime like a Superhero! Making sure my family has clean clothes, clean dishes, and a clean environment that they will dirty, mess and destroy so I can do it again!

A person can go to Salary.com and calculate how much money you would make at your job as a mom/homemaker, but I don't want to know. It's too depressing.

My benefit package far outweighs any salary I could make! Not the least of which is this:

Twenty minutes after I dropped off the laundry in the hall, the boy comes to me in the kitchen and hugs me tight. "Thanks for doing my laundry, mom".

Cool!

Doo, Doo, Doo

I woke up at 3:00 this morning singing CCR's "Looking Out My Back Door" It was odd because I haven't heard that song in years. I don't listen to 'oldies', there isn't a commercial with the tune, no one had been singing it lately. No reason for that song to be in my head.



I got up at 6:00 still singing that silly song! I looked up the lyrics (I don't remember it being that bazaar of a song!) and one line in particular jumped out at me. Bother me tomorrow, today I'll buy no sorrow. Hmmm....sounds a lot like "therefore, do not worry" in Matthew 6:25-31.



Coffee in hand, I sat down to check my email. I love reading Homeschooling Today and there was an article in my inbox. It was a fantastic piece on our "to do" list verses God's "to be" list. It reminded me to look for the important things in my day. The joy that play-doh brings far outweighs the mess! Taking time to enjoy my children is tantamount to worrying about the condition of the floors. I remembered that poem from long ago about how the dust will still be there years from now, but your children won't. Don't worry.



After email, I often stop by Sheryl's Place. On Friday's she hosts Faith-Lift Friday's and I always enjoy reading them. This morning was no different. She had a devotional from Crosswalk.com by Eva Marie Everson. A touching story reminding us that our Heavenly Father is concerned over every detail of our lives. If you have a minute, pop over and read the story. The point is, if it's important to us, it's important to Him. He's looking out for us, don't worry.



I'm sure by now, you are seeing a theme. Well, I didn't. Not at first. After my computer time, I grabbed another cup of coffee and headed "out my back door" to the deck. It's a new deck that we just built in May. A beautiful deck that we all worked on with love, sweat and yes a few tears! I was sitting in "my spot" looking out over the back yard.






It's a beautiful view I have. Actually, there are two views. One shows that the shop front isn't finished, the firepit isn't complete, the trailer full of scrap metal needs to be taken to the recyclers, the kids' jungle gym should be moved, the garden needs weeding, on and on.



The other view is my favorite. My husband is a very hard working man. He built the shop from the ground up and now has a place to do all the other hard working things he does! He has cleaned up the back property and a load of scrap is waiting to be taken in to pay him for his hard work! Our family loves to cook at the firepit! Family dinners last well into the evening with sweet fellowship and tons of fun. The fireflies complete perfect times! The basketball hoop, jungle gym, trampoline and bikes have all seen better days, but oh, the days they've had! Kids and grandkids playing, learning, growing, and doing it all together! The garden is lush and fruitful and beautiful and the weeds add to its fullness! What a blessing that piece of ground has been to our entire family -- friends and community too!



So, as summer marches forward, bringing bored cranky kids, extra yard and house work, garden stuff to deal with and a hot, tired mommy, I will have to remember this day. Don't worry - just look out my back door!

Home

Well, we are back on the farm now and everyone is so glad to be home! Everyone has their room back - their stuff back -- their little piece of the world back.

Carpenter and the boys have been spending blissful evenings in the new shop with sawing, hammering, drilling and country music noises drifting into the air. I'm pretty sure hearts will be swelling as handmade Christmas presents are passed out this year!

Teenage daughter is back in her green and pink sanctuary down the hall. She's appreciating it more these days after being in the "room off the living room" at grandma's for six months. Muffled sounds of Casting Crowns and Barlow Girls are vibrating behind her door.

I am in heaven. I feel blessed beyond measure. I felt wonderful being able to help out mother-in-law when she needed us, but being back home soothes my spirit. We have all learned to appreciate what we have. Circumstances change - sometimes with less than a moment's notice - and we are all learning to love what we have at the moment, but hold it loosely. Be content in all situations and be ready for what the Lord has for you next.

Glory to God

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecc 3:11

"Who is like you among the gods, O LORD? Who is like you? You are glorious because of your holiness and awe-inspiring because of your splendor. You perform miracles. Exodus 15:11

The LORD rules as king! He is clothed with majesty. The LORD has clothed himself; he has armed himself with power. The world was set in place; it cannot be moved.

Your throne was set in place a long time ago. You are eternal.

The ocean rises, O LORD. The ocean rises with a roar. The ocean rises with its pounding waves.

The LORD above is mighty- mightier than the sound of raging water, mightier than the foaming waves of the sea.

Your written testimonies are completely reliable. O LORD, holiness is what makes your house beautiful for days without end.

Psalm 93:1-5

Thanx, Sheryl, for hosting Faith Lift Fridays.

Faith Lift Friday

I know I'm late on this, but wanted to get in on Sheryl's loop! :)

Thank you, Sheryl, for reminding us to look up!

This week I ran across this Scripture and it really spoke to me. Nothing deep or profound, just a way I want to spend my days.

"Enjoy yourselves in the presence of the Lord your God along with your sons, daughters, male and female slaves, the Levites who live in your cities, the foreigners, orphans, and widows who live among you. Enjoy yourselves at the place the Lord your God will choose for His name to live." Deuteronomy 16:11